Let’s face it, we all want something from a relationship. Yet some just want something casual and less committed than what may be the general expectation. It is important to identify certain signs that could mean the other person doesn’t want more out of a relationship than what is casual. Such clarity will help us avoid disappointment at the end.
1. They are not progressive about the relationship
A relationship is like a plant. It has to be nurtured to grow. Such evolution is what will lead it to solidity and certainty. However if an individual doesn’t see a relationship as progressive or developmental and is not willing to put energy into propelling a relationship into maturity then it is obvious the person is not ready for something real.
2. They prefer to take rather than to give
They are always after something, and these could be what they could benefit or take from the relationship rather than offer to it. They really do not want to make any sacrifices that could consume or make them more involved. Giving something to a relationship sucks to them while taking makes them feel they are in control.
3. They have not built great relationships in the past
Let them stare at the mirror and tell you what they see. Chances are that they will tell you that they have been through so many casual relationships that they really can’t define or tell you what a real relationship means. Whether what they have engaged in the past was casual or broken, they have not put in so much energy in the past to make a relationship a success.
4. They are elusive
Whether in discussions or actions that are made to signal they are willing to be a part of a real relationship they will be elusive. They will appear vague about what they really want from a relationship. Truthfully they do not have a clarity about what they want and being elusive about it keeps such commitment at bay.
5. They have been hurt so many times
This is a red flag. Being hurt makes he/she go easy on being committed and providing anything assuring because really they find it difficult to go through that pain of investing emotions and losing it at the end of the day. They would prefer to play it safe and stay away from something real.
6. They avoid your family and friends
They see your family or friends as elements that represent commitment and responsibility, something that they are not really ready for. They would avoid meeting people that are really close and intimate with you.
7. They make unnecessary demands
You could say they are perfectionist or they just keep nagging to distract you from what good moments that could be born from your relationship. They really would want and expect everything to be perfect in you and in circumstances surrounding the relationship.
8. They dwell on the negatives of being in a relationship
They don’t see the positives of a real relationship. They talk against it to their friends, family and loved ones. They can’t seem to understand the depth and meaning of a real relationship and would rather prefer to talk negatively about it.
9. They have issues with trusting others
They can’t seem to trust other people, especially with their emotions and feelings. They feel the other person in the relationship may be out to betray and hurt them so they try to play it safe and hide behind the cloak of mistrust and disbelief.
10. They want to be free
They want to be free. They cherish freedom and wouldn’t want that freedom or independence to be upset by anyone. They see a real relationship as a hindrance to being free and doing those things they like.
At the end of the day it is left for you to understand these signs and be willing to offer such persons the space they need.
